January 27, 2017 - Friday

Mel and I were shopping for groceries today.  The cashier, as cashiers occasionally do, asked us if we're related.  For the first time ever it dawned on Melissa that what they're really asking is, "Are we a couple?" How could that never have occurred to her?

January 26, 2017 - Thursday

For the past three days, San Diegans have reported hearing a BOOM and feeling attendant shaking.  It's not earthquakes.  No one knows what it is.

January 25, 2017 - Wednesday

I caught Wil in a lie last night.  His back has been hurting and he desperately needed help at today's job, moving furniture.  Katie (his assistant and my sister) would be at school all day and was unavailable to work.  I said I would come and help.  But the scheduling was problematic: my mom would have to watch the baby, which interferes with her sleeping (she works at night), and I'd have to leave the job to drop off and pick up the kids from school. Wil told me not to come. He said Katie could work after all. But I went through his text messages and discovered that he was lying about that for my "peace of mind." He didn't want to inconvenience me or my mom, but he didn't want me to worry. So he lied.  He'd be doing the job alone, at risk to his back, while making me think Katie would be helping him.

I was disappointed in and let him know.  I helped with the job today. The scheduling worked out in the end.  Later in the day, though, Wil turned suicidal. It happened after left the job.  He send me some texts hinting at wanting to off himself.  I gathered the kids up in the car and went to him.  I was afraid and furious.  I hate when I gets like this.  I understand it, but I hate it.

January 24, 2017 - Tuesday

Silas made his first full-on belly laugh today.  It was at some random movement I made; I wasn't being intentionally funny. His laughter startled me.

January 23, 2017 - Monday

I posted all the political memes yesterday and forgot Nikolai was Star Student this week.  He went to school today, Monday, unprepared. There is always Tuesday through Friday, but I feel like such a failmom.

January 22, 2017 - Sunday

I posted all of the political memes.

January 21, 2017 - Saturday

Wil, Jess, Katie, and I went to the Women's March in San Diego to protest Trump.

January 20, 2017 - Friday

Donald Trump became our president today.

January 19, 2017 - Thursday

It's Obama's final day as president. All of my kids were born during his administration.

January 18, 2017 - Wednesday

Today was well balanced: I got the kids ready for school and remembered to make them brush their teeth; I cleaned the kitchen when I got home, then baked clones of Cinnabons (recipe on allrecipes.com); I shattered my new glass baking dish all over the kitchen floor and swept it up; I consoled Wil, who is feeling the effects of forgetting to take his meds last night; I nursed Silas throughout the day; picked Aly up and hung out at the school until Nick got out 45 minutes later; made cheesy potatoes for dinner; made Nikolai work on lexia.com and Compass Learning; had the kids read to me; and watched Better Call Saul.  Now I will write.  Today is a good day.

January 17, 2017 - Tuesday

Today Silas rolled over onto his stomach for the first time. I will spend the next six months freaking out about SIDS.

January 16, 2017 - Monday

Wil: Have you blogged about anything recently?
Me: No.
Wil: You should write about our awesome forced vacation and our prayers that it will come to an end.

Wil booked a job today. That's one overdue bill we can pay--if the client doesn't cancel.

Today we played Zombicide, using a scenario I created based on Indiana Jones: the characters have to find Baldric the Wizard's hat and escape the board through the toughest spawn zone.  The characters must roll off the board as they exist.  This is key.

Then we watched Interview with the Vampire (Wil doesn't see what I see in it, and I'm not sure I do anymore either).  Then I watched Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, which Wil wouldn't watch with me because it contains subtitles.  "Even though Pan's Labyrinth?" I asked him.  "Yes," he said.  "Even though Pan's Labyrinth."

The kids played Minecraft almost all day, and we didn't spend much time together. I felt guilty.

January 15, 2017 - Sunday

Dannika and Emersyn visited today. I discovered, after twenty-three years of knowing her, that I really enjoy Dannika's company.

January 14, 2017 - Saturday

We've gotten a few estimates this month and far fewer jobs. We're late on both car payments, car insurance, and SDG&E.

January 13, 2017 - Friday

Melissa day.  She, Wil, and I watched Game of Thrones, which Wil is finally getting into (it only took six seasons).  Then we played Zombicide.

January 12, 2017 - Thursday

Wil was off his meds for three days because of a lapse in insurance. Tonight he was behaving extremely romantically--kissing me constantly, telling me how lucky he is to have me, wanting to make out--, which is how he behaves when he's been off his meds.  Next, he'll be morose and possibly suicidal.  I will have to monitor him.

January 11, 2017 - Wednesday

Wil went with me to pick the kids up from school, then we all went on a drive to Julian and listened to Stephen King's Doctor Sleep on audiobook. The kids slept.

January 10, 2017 - Tuesday

I can't believe how quickly time is passing. I can't believe I'm 35.  I can't believe that in 15 years I'll be 50, and that tomorrow I'll be 70.

January 9, 2017 - Monday

Last night we set up the computer Vern gave us.  Our old computer was so loud, it lightly quaked any desk we set it on, and our neighbor Verna could hear it humming through our shared wall.

January 8, 2017 - Sunday

For the first time in a week, Wil didn't wake up in the night groaning in pain; his neck feels better.  He let me sleep in until 10:00 this morning, and it was Heaven.

January 7, 2017 - Saturday

Went to Balboa Park with the family.  Packed some lunches (peanut butter & jelly sandwiches, beef jerky sticks, and gummies) for our day out.  Wil took photos of me and the kids around the Spreckels Organ Pavillion.  It was Silas' first outing.

January 6, 2017 - Friday

The Mini is so freaking loud.  I hate when other parents look at me as I'm driving by.

January 5, 2017 - Thursday

That hour between 9:15 and 10:15, when the kids are at school and the baby is sleeping and Wil, who loves his music often and loud, is working, is my little island of silent respite.

January 4, 2017 - Wednesday

Alison thinks Vaseline is a pretty name and wishes we had named her that.  Nikolai joined Habitica!  Wil nicknamed Silas "Tortimus" because, with his bald, wobbly, wrinkled, wide-eyed, inquisitive head, he resembles a Galapagos tortoise reaching for leaves to eat.

January 3, 2017 - Tuesday

I forgot to engage Cold Turkey last night and, consequently, spent most of today fucking around on the internet--Facebook, Goodreads, Writing.com, Twitter--doing nothing.

January 2, 2017 - Monday

Wil's neck is hurting, badly.

January 1, 2017 - Sunday

This year's resolutions:

1. Use Cold Turkey app to limit my access to addictive websites such as Twitter and Facebook, 

2. All reading, movie and show watching, and gaming to be purchased with Habitica gold, 

3. Habitica avatar performs seppuku (kills herself) if all of my due To-Do items aren't completed by the end of the day, 

4. All food and snacks are eaten at the dinner table (not in front of the TV or computer, not in the car), 

5. My kids' screen time is limited to 1 hour per day, or 2 hours per day during weekends and vacation, 

6. Drink only water, black coffee, and tea, 

7. Drink 8 glasses of water a day, 

8. Write for 25 minutes per day, 

9. Walk for 25 minutes per day, and

10. Read 128 books this year.